Why you’re feeling lost in your 20s and IT’S OK

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For many, twenties are the time when you’re not really sure how to approach your life. Is it time for you to start building something stable? To travel, study, work? Study something else? Change the job? And on top of that, you get emotional. 

 

If that’s how you feel, you’re not alone. 

 

What you might be going through can be closely linked to what psychologists have described as emerging adulthood or quarter-life crisis.

 

Emerging adulthood

Emerging adulthood is a relatively new phenomenon that englobes individuals aged roughly 18-25. The main characteristics of this age include:

 

  • self-discovery
  • self-focus
  • not feeling like an adolescent anymore, but not an adult, either
  • awareness of all the opportunities

Sounds familiar? 

 

No, you’re not weird. Actually, the fact that you feel this way is linked to societal changes influenced by 20th century industrialization. Just remember the life of your grandparents. Only a few had the opportunity for higher education, most women depended on the man’s income and became housewives as early as twenty. The goal of many was creating a family.

 

But time has changed. Now, we can work, travel, it almost seems like anything is possible!

 

On the other hand, we struggle with something called the paradox of choice, which means many possibilities limit our freedom. We struggle to decide, and end up not deciding at all, and feel stuck.

 

All this contributes to you feeling lost in your twenties. 

 

Quarter-life crisis

I have mentioned that emerging adulthood usually ends around age 25. Are you 25 and more and still feel like you have no direction? Welcome to the quarter-life crisis.

 

Quarter-life crisis is another term used in modern psychology and stands for an existential crisis experienced by people in their mid-twenties to early thirties.

 

As you approach your thirties, you may second-guess your career choices and life goals, relationships, and other areas of life. The crisis could bring feelings of loneliness, FOMO, feeling stuck, uncertainty, questioning everything, and more.

 

And why do many 20-somethings experience this? Many events can trigger a quarter-life crisis. This can be things like break-up, moving to other city, losing a job, or more.

 

It’s fine to feel lost in your 20s

Feeling lost in one’s 20s is very common. It may be challenging to accept it, but this is a natural part of the journey towards adulthood. 

 

On the other hand, twenties are a time of great potential to form your own opinions, acquire new experience, and learn to be responsible. So, whether you are going through the quarter-life crisis, or the emerging adulthood phase, embrace it. And remember, there are many fellow twenty-somethings in the same situation.